Going back to college

Yesterday I talked whined about how stressful my life has been lately and one of the major reasons is the fact that I’m going back to college in less than two weeks!

I went to college 6 years ago but decided it wasn’t for me at the time, but now that I’ve been on the job market for a while and now that I actually have plans for the future, I’ve decided it was time to get some education under my belt so that I could get a good job that I like.

My biggest concern was money. I already feel bad that I only work 12 hours a week because I was too terrified to put my son in daycare, now it’s not even sure I’ll even be able to work. There are two main factors that will determine if I can keep my job or not. First, I need to see if my class schedule will let me work because I start at 5p.m. on Thursday and Friday and there is a possibility that classes could finish at 6p.m. So I have to wait until Monday to know that for sure. Then, if my class schedule doesn’t keep me from working, I’ll have to give myself a testing period to see if I’ll actually be able to keep up with work, homework/classes, a home to tend to and a son all at the same time.

One thing though that happened today that’ll ease my conscience if I can’t work anymore is the fact that I should be able to get some loans and scholarships which should be about the same amount per month that I make working. At least with that we won’t be in trouble if I can’t work.

The other reason(s) that it’s stressing me to go back to college is just the fact that it puts our plans for the future on ice for 3 years. We were supposed to buy a house next summer and have a second baby soon after, but now we’ll have to wait 3 years for those things to happen. Why can’t we still buy a house? For one, we want to move in another city and, for two, we can’t afford a house with only my SO’s income. Why is it such a big deal since we’re still so young? Because I’ve always wanted my children to be 2 years apart like my sister and me are… and I’m starting to feel the want to have a second baby right now haha. It saddens me a little that we’ll only be able to have a second baby once my son is in kindergarten. I feel like it’s such a huge difference in age! But I guess it doesn’t matter that much.

I just need to finally let go of the plan I had for myself and accept that things are going differently as planned, but are still going the right way.

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